Well to make a long story short I began to feel concern over this and a few other things concerning Micah. After several phone calls and an hour long consultation with a DAN (Defeat Autism Now) doctor, my fears had become a reality as she diagnosed him with high-functioning autism.
I remember asking the Lord "Why?"...I remember asking "How?" (as in how did this happen) but what I had failed to ask the Lord was "What?" What was the Lord trying to teach me.....
Then Sunday rolls around and where do I find myself.. ..at the alter, of course, pleading with the Almighty to take it away from him. I would love to tell you that as I stood up and looked over at Micah he was healed...but I would be lying.What God did, and is still doing, is so much greater. Now, don't get me wrong, I would LOVE for Micah to not have these issues but, more than anything, I want God to be glorified.
As I left church that day I realized that God was doing a great work in my life and in the life of my family. He was putting "a thorn in our flesh", so to speak, in order that we might grow in our walk with the Savior. Oh... but that is not all:
- He showed me that he is in control of EVERYTHING!
- That His grace is sufficient
- That His power is made strong in my weakness
- and that Micah and the rest of my beautiful children truly are "fearfully and wonderfully made" crafted and molded specifically how he planned and purposed each one of them to be
- and that each smile, each giggle, each tear, each spill and each boo-boo kissed are a gift that God gives me and that each of them are a JEWEL in my crown
- And that I am truly Crowned With Joy